I've lost my MOJO!

How did this happen? Within a week I go from 5 boys to no boys! Not even my homeless boyfriend in Miami was looking for his rich ho the past weekend. What has my life come to? I have lost my charm and ability to make boys fall in love with me. This is tragic news. After a one month boycation, I am ready to return, but I am being left behind! Why am I being punished? What is God trying to tell me? I have LOST my MOJO! The boys are not swooning. Maybe God is just separating me from my whorish ways in order to prepare me for my husband that I am obviously going to meet fairly soon.

HELP! I need HELP! I will lend you my ear if you choose to offer me advice.

On the brightside, I got a new stove and oven today. Who needs a boy when you have new appliances?


xoxo,

E