Last night was a festive evening at D and J's for the Naughty or Nice party in Brooklyn. It was bundles of fun full of peppermint schnapps and mistletoe. A few of us, including D, decided to slip out early and head into the city to hit some clubs and bars. I mean why waste our cuteness! It was fah-reezing, and super fun because it was my first snow experience ever!
So, turns out, I'm still really not a club person. Just can't get into it, especially up here since there are so many Yankees. Where are my southern swoops? Anyway, before we left we had to go down to the coat check and pick up our stuff, and crazy man flipped a shit on D. Oh, no you didn't! With several drinks in us, we were a tough bunch of girls and decided to fight back. I hesitate to say we won because he delivered the ultimate blow. He called me Jersey trash! Are you blind sir? What part of me would you consider Jersey trash? Would it be my pale skin, my pearl necklace, my normal eyebrows, my normal amount of makeup, or maybe it was me saying "y'all, lets settle down now." I think that's definitely what did it. Well, don't EVER call me Jersey trash. I gave him a kick to the family jewels and mashed my heel into his foot and we ran like the place was on fire. Perhaps I remember it a little differently than it really happened, but who knows with a few drinks in ya.
Y'all be careful about what you say!
xoxo,
E
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I've lost my MOJO!
How did this happen? Within a week I go from 5 boys to no boys! Not even my homeless boyfriend in Miami was looking for his rich ho the past weekend. What has my life come to? I have lost my charm and ability to make boys fall in love with me. This is tragic news. After a one month boycation, I am ready to return, but I am being left behind! Why am I being punished? What is God trying to tell me? I have LOST my MOJO! The boys are not swooning. Maybe God is just separating me from my whorish ways in order to prepare me for my husband that I am obviously going to meet fairly soon.
HELP! I need HELP! I will lend you my ear if you choose to offer me advice.
On the brightside, I got a new stove and oven today. Who needs a boy when you have new appliances?
xoxo,
E
HELP! I need HELP! I will lend you my ear if you choose to offer me advice.
On the brightside, I got a new stove and oven today. Who needs a boy when you have new appliances?
xoxo,
E
Monday, October 26, 2009
Four Score and Seven Years Ago...
Hello blog. I have missed you, but my body has appreciated the vacation. I have been pretty well behaved for the past month, or so I like to think. I have made bad decisions, but those decisions weren't due to clouded judgment. However, my vacation ended this past weekend as I took a road trip to Harrisonburg, Virginia to visit one of my favorite people in the entire world... Joshy!
Brando and I hopped in the car at 3:30 Friday afternoon and made our trek to the great state of Virginia.
Things I enjoyed about Harrisonburg (other than the people, the partying, and the escape from NY)
I feel like that list could continue for ages, but I'm tired of thinking of things because it makes me depressed that I'm not there.
Brando and I arrived Friday night and promptly went out to the Dodger. Apparently the Artful Dodger is Harrisonburg's gay bar, but is enjoyed by all seeing that it is the only place to dance. And sometimes you've just gotta dance! For being a small town in the middle of nowhere, Harrisonburg has a lot of gays, and I love my gays, but I have never seen such a high concentration of lesbians. Holy scare the crap out of me. We chose to play the game girl or guy. I'm sure you can figure out what this game entails.
We left the Dodger because we closed the place down... at 1:30 am. I didn't know that bars closed so early. We chose Total Eclipse of the Heart as our last dance. And the five of us that were there rocked it out! Brando, however, chose to go up to the DJ and demand that he play Total Eclipse of the Heart because we were the only people left, and we had been there the whole night. The DJ informed him that that was the song that was currently playing. Brando had a little to much to drink that night. Precious soul.
We went back to Joshy's friend's apartment and continued to rage on. Then made the glorious decision to walk to 7-11 and get a slurpie for Brando. I'm pretty sure we spent at least 30 minutes in 7-11. Made friends with the clerk, who ended up taste testing all the slurpie flavors with Brando (I later spiked his slurpie purchase with Bourbon... oops). Joshy and I bought 5 hour energy drinks, which we never ended up drinking, and that's when the rest of the night becomes hazy.
We wake up on Saturday morning to dogs attacking us in Joshy's apartment at around 11:30 am and I decide this means I should get up and make pancakes, still drunk. We eat breakfast, then all of us get into Joshy's bed and go back to sleep until 2 pm. Mind you, Joshy has to be at work at 3 pm to do the weather. Ahhhhh! Don't worry, he made it.
We rocked out again on Saturday night. Brando and I headed to the tv station to watch Joshy in all his glory, then headed home to start the party. We went to the Dodger again, where Baberaham Lincoln met up with us, this was one of Joshy's friends who attended a costume party prior to going out. This is when the comments began coming out. Comments included... "excuse me, you're going to need to back away from the President" and "did you know that he freed you?" Terrible! I also tried to do a magic trick with Good Ole Abe's top hat. Unfortunately I was double fisting and ended up pouring out most of my beer onto the floor, and not realizing it in the slightest. I thought the were all laughing at my magic trick. Oh, well.
Here's a video for your enjoyment. This song was our "Perfect" song to turn to whenever needed. Please enjoy the version from Old School because we did turn this portion on after closing the bar on Saturday night. Totally necessary. Please note Will Ferrell's face...
Friends and fun like the excitement from this weekend make me miss my old life. New York has so much to offer, but I feel so lost here. Few people here know the real E, and those that do are a lot of times the people I'm trying to avoid.
xoxo,
E
P.S. One of the girls we hung out with has a coozie collection and has everything monogrammed. I miss these types of people. They are few and far between up here!
P.P.S. I know this post isn't my best work, but so much time has passed and I had to start again somewhere. This wasn't a random encounter, this was planned. However, I have some dates that are coming up which could be quite interesting. Tune in next time to find out if I survive dating people that I have nothing in common with!
Brando and I hopped in the car at 3:30 Friday afternoon and made our trek to the great state of Virginia.
Things I enjoyed about Harrisonburg (other than the people, the partying, and the escape from NY)
- The fact that I could buy 10 pounds of potatoes for $3. Did I use 10 pounds of potatoes while there? Absolutely not, but they were only $3!
- Ability to buy 6 boneless skinless chicken breasts for $5.45. I turned to the lady next to me that was picking breasts and said, "this is such a great deal!"
- Going on hikes. Steep hikes. With dogs that pull you up the mountain. And Mennonites that drive down the road in a horse and carriage and super fun clothes. It reminded me of The Little House on the Prairie.
- Fall. Trees. Leaves changing.
I feel like that list could continue for ages, but I'm tired of thinking of things because it makes me depressed that I'm not there.
Brando and I arrived Friday night and promptly went out to the Dodger. Apparently the Artful Dodger is Harrisonburg's gay bar, but is enjoyed by all seeing that it is the only place to dance. And sometimes you've just gotta dance! For being a small town in the middle of nowhere, Harrisonburg has a lot of gays, and I love my gays, but I have never seen such a high concentration of lesbians. Holy scare the crap out of me. We chose to play the game girl or guy. I'm sure you can figure out what this game entails.
We left the Dodger because we closed the place down... at 1:30 am. I didn't know that bars closed so early. We chose Total Eclipse of the Heart as our last dance. And the five of us that were there rocked it out! Brando, however, chose to go up to the DJ and demand that he play Total Eclipse of the Heart because we were the only people left, and we had been there the whole night. The DJ informed him that that was the song that was currently playing. Brando had a little to much to drink that night. Precious soul.
We went back to Joshy's friend's apartment and continued to rage on. Then made the glorious decision to walk to 7-11 and get a slurpie for Brando. I'm pretty sure we spent at least 30 minutes in 7-11. Made friends with the clerk, who ended up taste testing all the slurpie flavors with Brando (I later spiked his slurpie purchase with Bourbon... oops). Joshy and I bought 5 hour energy drinks, which we never ended up drinking, and that's when the rest of the night becomes hazy.
We wake up on Saturday morning to dogs attacking us in Joshy's apartment at around 11:30 am and I decide this means I should get up and make pancakes, still drunk. We eat breakfast, then all of us get into Joshy's bed and go back to sleep until 2 pm. Mind you, Joshy has to be at work at 3 pm to do the weather. Ahhhhh! Don't worry, he made it.
We rocked out again on Saturday night. Brando and I headed to the tv station to watch Joshy in all his glory, then headed home to start the party. We went to the Dodger again, where Baberaham Lincoln met up with us, this was one of Joshy's friends who attended a costume party prior to going out. This is when the comments began coming out. Comments included... "excuse me, you're going to need to back away from the President" and "did you know that he freed you?" Terrible! I also tried to do a magic trick with Good Ole Abe's top hat. Unfortunately I was double fisting and ended up pouring out most of my beer onto the floor, and not realizing it in the slightest. I thought the were all laughing at my magic trick. Oh, well.
Here's a video for your enjoyment. This song was our "Perfect" song to turn to whenever needed. Please enjoy the version from Old School because we did turn this portion on after closing the bar on Saturday night. Totally necessary. Please note Will Ferrell's face...
Friends and fun like the excitement from this weekend make me miss my old life. New York has so much to offer, but I feel so lost here. Few people here know the real E, and those that do are a lot of times the people I'm trying to avoid.
xoxo,
E
P.S. One of the girls we hung out with has a coozie collection and has everything monogrammed. I miss these types of people. They are few and far between up here!
P.P.S. I know this post isn't my best work, but so much time has passed and I had to start again somewhere. This wasn't a random encounter, this was planned. However, I have some dates that are coming up which could be quite interesting. Tune in next time to find out if I survive dating people that I have nothing in common with!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Forever Young
Whoever said that getting old sucks definitely lied! I made a friend tonight. She was in her 70s (she wouldn't give me her exact age) and her name was Louise. I wonder if some day Emily will become and old lady name. I sure hope so! I want to be the future Betty or Ethel of America. Anyway, I went to Tin Lizzy because Guido Bartender told me he'd be working, and you know what that means, free drinkies! So, I walk in and get hit on by my favorite bouncer who refused to let me go. I sit near the front of the bar because the far end looked packed of people I probably wouldn't care much to talk to, so I chose a seat next to my new friend. She was sitting all alone talking to Guido. I obviously decide to strike up a conversation. Not quite sure what we talked about, but it was clear that I was making her night.
After about 30 minutes of chit-chat, Miley Cyrus came on, thank you Mr. DJ. This prompted my feet to start moving, and I invited Louise to dance with me. She told me I was a great dancer. Then as always, the DJ announced that if any lovely ladies would get on the bar and dance they would get free shots. This was our cue! I convinced Louise to get on the bar and dance with me. Guido handed us bottles of liquor, and as we danced down the bar we poured shots into the mouths of the patrons. Trashy... yes. Epic... absolutely. Best night of Louise's life... undeniable! As a put Louise in a cab, and gave her a hug good night, she asked if we could hang out again soon. What a precious woman, but I feel so sad for her. Is this really all she has to look forward to in life? Where is her family? Her soul mate? Her children? Bless her heart, but at least I was able to give her a night worth remembering.
xoxo,
E
*** This has been sitting in my Saved Posts. I must have forgotten to post it before. Sorry!
After about 30 minutes of chit-chat, Miley Cyrus came on, thank you Mr. DJ. This prompted my feet to start moving, and I invited Louise to dance with me. She told me I was a great dancer. Then as always, the DJ announced that if any lovely ladies would get on the bar and dance they would get free shots. This was our cue! I convinced Louise to get on the bar and dance with me. Guido handed us bottles of liquor, and as we danced down the bar we poured shots into the mouths of the patrons. Trashy... yes. Epic... absolutely. Best night of Louise's life... undeniable! As a put Louise in a cab, and gave her a hug good night, she asked if we could hang out again soon. What a precious woman, but I feel so sad for her. Is this really all she has to look forward to in life? Where is her family? Her soul mate? Her children? Bless her heart, but at least I was able to give her a night worth remembering.
xoxo,
E
*** This has been sitting in my Saved Posts. I must have forgotten to post it before. Sorry!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Does this mean I win?
I think this means I'm still in the game. The Bodster texted me constantly last night. He was going out with some buddies and wanted to know what I was up to. I continued being my witty little self, but ended up sharing our location with him regardless. The Bodster showed up! He came with his friends the the bar we were hanging out with and I was mildly shocked. He came to find me, and when I saw him he was wearing a SEARSUCKER shirt. Steal my heart! We flirted, but in the end I beleive I'm still in the win category. He chased me, and I still didn't give him what he wanted. Though I do fall into the lose category briefly because I didn't have any drinks bought for me. Bummer.
In other Bodster news. He told me that he resigned his position at TTT. Do you realize how tragic that is? That means I don't have an automatic go to for free drinks anymore. Well, actually I have a drink machine up by me now, but he's just getting annoying because he calls me at 5:30 am when he gets off work. No thank you! Oh, and he wears a Jesus chain. Anyway, at least this means I can go to TTT without fear of having him be my total cock block. I'll figure it out, I always do.
xoxo,
E
In other Bodster news. He told me that he resigned his position at TTT. Do you realize how tragic that is? That means I don't have an automatic go to for free drinks anymore. Well, actually I have a drink machine up by me now, but he's just getting annoying because he calls me at 5:30 am when he gets off work. No thank you! Oh, and he wears a Jesus chain. Anyway, at least this means I can go to TTT without fear of having him be my total cock block. I'll figure it out, I always do.
xoxo,
E
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Lions and Tigers and.... a MOUSE! Oh My!
I'm pretty sure our exterminator was arrested from our apartment building on Saturday. I was only led to believe this because of the nice police officer that knocked on our door looking for him. Unfortunately this happened before he had made it to our apartment.
So, many of you (and by many, I mean all three of you that read this) would probably think that this was a good thing that Mr. Exterminator was apprehended before coming to my apartment. Well, on the contrary I was pretty pissed off. I don't care what you did Mr. Exterminator, just please come back and rid me of our guest, Henry the mouse. I'm sure he's a really sweet mouse, I just prefer to have my food free of rodents.
Until then, long live Henry!
xoxo,
E
So, many of you (and by many, I mean all three of you that read this) would probably think that this was a good thing that Mr. Exterminator was apprehended before coming to my apartment. Well, on the contrary I was pretty pissed off. I don't care what you did Mr. Exterminator, just please come back and rid me of our guest, Henry the mouse. I'm sure he's a really sweet mouse, I just prefer to have my food free of rodents.
Until then, long live Henry!
xoxo,
E
Friday, September 11, 2009
"It's the most WONDERFUL time of the year!"
I've heard that fall here is the best season. I don't know if that's true quite yet. Fall has just begun, and the cooler weather has caught me by surprise, but this is what I do know. With fall comes New York Fashion Week and that is enough for me to LOVE fall!
Fashion Week officially starts next week, and I couldn't be more excited. Tonight we kicked it off with "Fashions Night Out" where celebrities, stores, bars, and restaurants encourage consumers to go out and spend their money while they offer you freebies and a chance to... oh em gee... are you serious... have a drink served to you by Mary Kate or Ashley?!? My Full House dreams have come true. But seriously, I had fun. I didn't stay out to late, as you can see by the time that I'm posting to my blog, but needless to say, I had a killer time with Danielle (I have the worst boss ever, I hope she's reading this and thinks that I hate her) where we sipped Cosmos and some fruity fabulous drink that had Pop Rocks on the rim, gossiped about life and love, and even tried to stop by her ex-boyfriends bar. Super fabulous as always.
Fashion Week... you best not disappoint me!
As for the phone, still no luck. I'm phoneless and therefore completely and utterly lost. It has caused a mild depression in me, and I better get it tomorrow or I don't know what will happen. Wish me luck on my survival.
Happy Fall Y'all!
xoxo,
E
Fashion Week officially starts next week, and I couldn't be more excited. Tonight we kicked it off with "Fashions Night Out" where celebrities, stores, bars, and restaurants encourage consumers to go out and spend their money while they offer you freebies and a chance to... oh em gee... are you serious... have a drink served to you by Mary Kate or Ashley?!? My Full House dreams have come true. But seriously, I had fun. I didn't stay out to late, as you can see by the time that I'm posting to my blog, but needless to say, I had a killer time with Danielle (I have the worst boss ever, I hope she's reading this and thinks that I hate her) where we sipped Cosmos and some fruity fabulous drink that had Pop Rocks on the rim, gossiped about life and love, and even tried to stop by her ex-boyfriends bar. Super fabulous as always.
Fashion Week... you best not disappoint me!
As for the phone, still no luck. I'm phoneless and therefore completely and utterly lost. It has caused a mild depression in me, and I better get it tomorrow or I don't know what will happen. Wish me luck on my survival.
Happy Fall Y'all!
xoxo,
E
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Relationships Suck... (even if they are just in your head)
So here I am. So much time has passed and I feel like our relationship is slowly fading, but just when it seems like we've both lost all hope, I reach out to cling on to the little we have left.
Oh em gee... story of my life.
Anyway, so I had the worst day ever! I guess it only figures for having incredible ups and downs all weekend. Shall we start from the beginning?
Friday, I got another awkward text from the Bodster. He wanted me to come by TTT because he was "tending bar." A.K.A. Come by and get free drinks so I can take advantage of you later. So naturally, I went. V and I enjoyed some free drinks, and were offered shots if we got up on the bar. Naturally I dragged her up there. I'm such a good friend. Well, while I was doing my thing (hunched over like Quazimoto mind you because the ceilings aren't quite high enough), the object of my affection spotted me. We will call him "The G-Force." Anyway, the G-Force and I began talking and talked for a good 3 hours at TTT, which in that time I received numerous messages from the Bodster asking if I were a) ok and b) if I were going home with him or this new guy. I chose not to answer him. I mean we were only talking about cupcakes and religion. I figured things weren't going anywhere with this stud muffin. Oh, how wrong I was. We enjoyed the evening at TTT, got kicked out because of his drunk friend who crawled under the bar, then we went to an Irish Pub until it closed, then went to a 24-hour coffee shop and were up until 6:30 am. It was absolutely delightful.
Saturday I got to hang out with the boys... as in Joe, Brett, Brandon and the one and only John Nolan! It was a good time. I also had a birthday party to go to, which was again, super fun, but because of the wedding on Sunday I went home early and snuggled up in my nice Temperpedic bed (that when you jump on it with a glass full of liquids, it doesn't spill!).
Wedding day came and went, and was surprisingly cold and we pulled it off like we do this for a living. Danielle is amazing, what can I say.
Got back from NJ on Monday in time to hit Chik-fil-a with the G-Force, unfortunately since it isn't a real Chik-fil-a we didn't get the free Labor Day sandwiches, but it was super delicious nonetheless. I was super nervous, but super excited to see him (just seeing how many times I can use the word super without getting annoyed with myself... not working out so well), and things went really well as in we still had things to talk about. He ended up joining V and me at the UM watch party at Brother Jimmy's, and we had a lot of fun together. He was totally into the game despite the fact that he couldn't care less about UM. Also, he searched UM on Wikipedia so he could know something about us... how presh. Yes, things were a little awkward because all of my Miami/EX friends were there and Precious Joe was there, but sometimes you have to move on in life. I suppose they will eventually get over the fact that I'm not dating someone from Miami or someone that is in EX, but for now, I'll deal with it. The G-Force seems pretty cool, and maybe I'll get to see him again sometime... he did request to be invited to the next Power Hour, but V said only if he brought cute law friends with him. I'm all in.
As for the terrible day though, I'm skipping Tuesday because all I did was sleep and have an interview that I showed up 15 minutes late for, but life happens and so do terrible cab drivers. However, today I woke up to the buttons on my phone not working. My alarm went off for over an hour, and pulling out the battery wasn't even helping. I went to the Verizon store at 8:30 am (when they opened... oh, yes, I waited outside!), and they told me that they were unable to help me because I have an Altell phone. WTF, you bought out Altell, you should take care of all of your customers. This is your problem now! So as of right now I'm phoneless. I feel like I've been dumped and I don't know how to feel about it. Like I miss it so much, but at times its a relief knowing that I don't have to check in, though sometimes I try and it just won't respond. Hopefully my new phone will come in tomorrow, but I just want to know who this BBM is from!!! In addition, I stayed pretty late at work today creating a digital filing system (super fun, be jealous), but ended up exhausted and frustrated. My bag got mildly puked on on the way home which really grossed me out, but I Cloroxed it so no frets. I had no other choice. When I got home, V and I shared a Trader Joe's frozen pizza then headed to the Stumble Inn for $8 Ladies Night Pitchers. Totally made my day better. There is nothing like pizza and beer after a stressful day. I just feel like there will be a lot of baking to come. Oh, and hopefully the G-Force hasn't tried to contact me. If so, I can just play it off like I'm hard to get, and I'll just let him sweat it. Whatevs.
I'm pleasantly tipsy and I'm ready for snuggle time with my pillows and my big bed all to myself. Though I do all the time, I really can't complain. Just as long as these people stop smoking weed outside my window... then I'll be able to sleep peacefully.
xoxo,
E
Oh em gee... story of my life.
Anyway, so I had the worst day ever! I guess it only figures for having incredible ups and downs all weekend. Shall we start from the beginning?
Friday, I got another awkward text from the Bodster. He wanted me to come by TTT because he was "tending bar." A.K.A. Come by and get free drinks so I can take advantage of you later. So naturally, I went. V and I enjoyed some free drinks, and were offered shots if we got up on the bar. Naturally I dragged her up there. I'm such a good friend. Well, while I was doing my thing (hunched over like Quazimoto mind you because the ceilings aren't quite high enough), the object of my affection spotted me. We will call him "The G-Force." Anyway, the G-Force and I began talking and talked for a good 3 hours at TTT, which in that time I received numerous messages from the Bodster asking if I were a) ok and b) if I were going home with him or this new guy. I chose not to answer him. I mean we were only talking about cupcakes and religion. I figured things weren't going anywhere with this stud muffin. Oh, how wrong I was. We enjoyed the evening at TTT, got kicked out because of his drunk friend who crawled under the bar, then we went to an Irish Pub until it closed, then went to a 24-hour coffee shop and were up until 6:30 am. It was absolutely delightful.
Saturday I got to hang out with the boys... as in Joe, Brett, Brandon and the one and only John Nolan! It was a good time. I also had a birthday party to go to, which was again, super fun, but because of the wedding on Sunday I went home early and snuggled up in my nice Temperpedic bed (that when you jump on it with a glass full of liquids, it doesn't spill!).
Wedding day came and went, and was surprisingly cold and we pulled it off like we do this for a living. Danielle is amazing, what can I say.
Got back from NJ on Monday in time to hit Chik-fil-a with the G-Force, unfortunately since it isn't a real Chik-fil-a we didn't get the free Labor Day sandwiches, but it was super delicious nonetheless. I was super nervous, but super excited to see him (just seeing how many times I can use the word super without getting annoyed with myself... not working out so well), and things went really well as in we still had things to talk about. He ended up joining V and me at the UM watch party at Brother Jimmy's, and we had a lot of fun together. He was totally into the game despite the fact that he couldn't care less about UM. Also, he searched UM on Wikipedia so he could know something about us... how presh. Yes, things were a little awkward because all of my Miami/EX friends were there and Precious Joe was there, but sometimes you have to move on in life. I suppose they will eventually get over the fact that I'm not dating someone from Miami or someone that is in EX, but for now, I'll deal with it. The G-Force seems pretty cool, and maybe I'll get to see him again sometime... he did request to be invited to the next Power Hour, but V said only if he brought cute law friends with him. I'm all in.
As for the terrible day though, I'm skipping Tuesday because all I did was sleep and have an interview that I showed up 15 minutes late for, but life happens and so do terrible cab drivers. However, today I woke up to the buttons on my phone not working. My alarm went off for over an hour, and pulling out the battery wasn't even helping. I went to the Verizon store at 8:30 am (when they opened... oh, yes, I waited outside!), and they told me that they were unable to help me because I have an Altell phone. WTF, you bought out Altell, you should take care of all of your customers. This is your problem now! So as of right now I'm phoneless. I feel like I've been dumped and I don't know how to feel about it. Like I miss it so much, but at times its a relief knowing that I don't have to check in, though sometimes I try and it just won't respond. Hopefully my new phone will come in tomorrow, but I just want to know who this BBM is from!!! In addition, I stayed pretty late at work today creating a digital filing system (super fun, be jealous), but ended up exhausted and frustrated. My bag got mildly puked on on the way home which really grossed me out, but I Cloroxed it so no frets. I had no other choice. When I got home, V and I shared a Trader Joe's frozen pizza then headed to the Stumble Inn for $8 Ladies Night Pitchers. Totally made my day better. There is nothing like pizza and beer after a stressful day. I just feel like there will be a lot of baking to come. Oh, and hopefully the G-Force hasn't tried to contact me. If so, I can just play it off like I'm hard to get, and I'll just let him sweat it. Whatevs.
I'm pleasantly tipsy and I'm ready for snuggle time with my pillows and my big bed all to myself. Though I do all the time, I really can't complain. Just as long as these people stop smoking weed outside my window... then I'll be able to sleep peacefully.
xoxo,
E
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Life in Shambles!
Am I pathetic or what?
So I went to my friendly neighborhood bar tonight, Bar Coastal... shout out to my homegirls--Meetra and Katie. Anyway, I was there, alone. Typical. I don't have cable, what's a girl supposed to do. I had some baseball games to watch. Anyway, so, here I am sitting at my usual table, alone, and the bouncer comes over and starts making small talk to me. The waitress asks if I need another, and because I'm poor, I obviously say no. Well, the bouncer, Asian Evan, buys me another. He felt bad for me because I was alone. I'll let you know that I was content being by myself.
Moving on...
Asian Evan decides that he should introduce me to all of his friends. Whatever. Rich... fat... old guys. There is nothing they rather do than buy a pretty gal (or at least prettier than them, I'm not going to toot my own horn) drinks! Thank God! So here I am now, sitting in my apartment, super tipsy, writing this fantastic piece of _______ (fill in the blank yourself).
Is this what the world has come to for me? Who am I? I miss being at Sandbar and making super hotties jealous by dancing with "That's not my name... Maclean." (Obviously, because he is super hottie #1 in my life, and we WILL be married some day).
WTF? <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm91hh9SqXs >
That was just shared with me.
Oh, and I was also creeped on by Mr. Creepy Creeperson who was macking on V one night. He asked to sleep at our APT. Ummm... no thank you. However, Mr. McHottie definitely flashed me an award winning smile on my way back from the bathroom... worth it! In other news, but kind of the same news, Asian Evan asked at one point if he should leave me alone again because there were a lot of guys checking me out. Not sure if I believe him, but it did make me feel kind of fierce. Works for me.
I apologize a million times for the random explosion of thoughts that this post has turned into. That's what you get when old guys buy me drinks. I can't help it. Love life and so much more!
And... fun tip from the bathroom, "Girl, never sleep with a guy on the first date. All this achieves is a spot in the Booty Call section of his phone book... forever." What excellent advice? Thank you right bathroom stall. I will always go to you in need of I'm drunk, boy advice.
Oh, and we're getting hit with bands of a hurricane... I just can't escape!
xoxo,
So I went to my friendly neighborhood bar tonight, Bar Coastal... shout out to my homegirls--Meetra and Katie. Anyway, I was there, alone. Typical. I don't have cable, what's a girl supposed to do. I had some baseball games to watch. Anyway, so, here I am sitting at my usual table, alone, and the bouncer comes over and starts making small talk to me. The waitress asks if I need another, and because I'm poor, I obviously say no. Well, the bouncer, Asian Evan, buys me another. He felt bad for me because I was alone. I'll let you know that I was content being by myself.
Moving on...
Asian Evan decides that he should introduce me to all of his friends. Whatever. Rich... fat... old guys. There is nothing they rather do than buy a pretty gal (or at least prettier than them, I'm not going to toot my own horn) drinks! Thank God! So here I am now, sitting in my apartment, super tipsy, writing this fantastic piece of _______ (fill in the blank yourself).
Is this what the world has come to for me? Who am I? I miss being at Sandbar and making super hotties jealous by dancing with "That's not my name... Maclean." (Obviously, because he is super hottie #1 in my life, and we WILL be married some day).
WTF? <http://www.yout
That was just shared with me.
Oh, and I was also creeped on by Mr. Creepy Creeperson who was macking on V one night. He asked to sleep at our APT. Ummm... no thank you. However, Mr. McHottie definitely flashed me an award winning smile on my way back from the bathroom... worth it! In other news, but kind of the same news, Asian Evan asked at one point if he should leave me alone again because there were a lot of guys checking me out. Not sure if I believe him, but it did make me feel kind of fierce. Works for me.
I apologize a million times for the random explosion of thoughts that this post has turned into. That's what you get when old guys buy me drinks. I can't help it. Love life and so much more!
And... fun tip from the bathroom, "Girl, never sleep with a guy on the first date. All this achieves is a spot in the Booty Call section of his phone book... forever." What excellent advice? Thank you right bathroom stall. I will always go to you in need of I'm drunk, boy advice.
Oh, and we're getting hit with bands of a hurricane... I just can't escape!
xoxo,
Monday, August 24, 2009
Chik-fil-A my day!
If you know me, you know there is one thing I do not joke about ever, and that is Chick-fil-A. Oh man, I could eat Chick-fil-A three times per day. (Don't tell anyone that I did this once, ok?)
So color me excited when I saw that for signing up to join the Chick-fil-A wave, you can get a certificate in the mail for a FREE chicken sandwich! Nope, I don't really know what the wave is. I can't imagine they expect everyone to participate in one gigantic nationwide "wave" at a pre-determined time on a pre-determined date. But, who knows?
All I had to do was head on over to www.chickenwave.com, and create a little cow friend. After I set up my cow (who will participate in this wave), I submitted my mailing address, and then was told I would receive a coupon in the mail for a free chicken sandwich.
Hurry up - claim yours too! This offer is only open to the first 250,000 people who sign up!
PLUS - on Labor Day (only), if you wear your favorite sports team's logo to any Chick-fil-A, you will receive a FREE Chick-fil-A original chicken sandwich!! So much Chick-fil-A...
Now if only they'd open one near me that wasn't a part of NYU foodcourt. (But then again, I've already demonstrated I can't control myself... so y'all will have to enjoy the deliciousness for me!)
xoxo,
E
So color me excited when I saw that for signing up to join the Chick-fil-A wave, you can get a certificate in the mail for a FREE chicken sandwich! Nope, I don't really know what the wave is. I can't imagine they expect everyone to participate in one gigantic nationwide "wave" at a pre-determined time on a pre-determined date. But, who knows?
All I had to do was head on over to www.chickenwave.com, and create a little cow friend. After I set up my cow (who will participate in this wave), I submitted my mailing address, and then was told I would receive a coupon in the mail for a free chicken sandwich.
Hurry up - claim yours too! This offer is only open to the first 250,000 people who sign up!
PLUS - on Labor Day (only), if you wear your favorite sports team's logo to any Chick-fil-A, you will receive a FREE Chick-fil-A original chicken sandwich!! So much Chick-fil-A...
Now if only they'd open one near me that wasn't a part of NYU foodcourt. (But then again, I've already demonstrated I can't control myself... so y'all will have to enjoy the deliciousness for me!)
xoxo,
E
Chasing Mr. Wrong
I have officially been in New York for exactly three months today, and oddly enough I have dated more people in these three months than I have dated in my lifetime. However, the more I date, the more I find Mr. Wrong.
Let us begin with the guy that I have serial dated since last summer, Creepy Dave. he is like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress--I know it's not my style, but it's right there, so I try it on anyway. He is successful and good looking and tall, all things that are on my "must have" list for a potential, but that is obviously not enough. On a side note, Creepy Dave isn't really creepy. He is a very nice, sweet, and thoughtful person. The only thing that put him in the creepy category was the fact that he referred to me as his girlfriend last summer after I had just exited a relationship, and it was apparent that I was not ready for that (he also knew I was fresh out of a relationship).
Things that bother me about this faux-lationship with Creepy Dave:
1. He never attended college. I know this makes me sound super snooty falootie, but it is just something that irks me a little bit. I realize that college is not for everyone, but it was a very big part of my life, and he just can't understand my obsession with some aspects of college.
2. He is on a health and fitness kick. This means that he works out twice a day, which I can respect, but he won't eat any sweets or drink any alcohol. If you haven't realized yet from the previous posts that those are integral aspects of my life then you need to not read so deeply into what I write. Well-known fact about me--if I want to show you that I care about you or feel like I need to apologize for something, I will bake for you. I will bake a lot for you. My happiness revolves around baking and if you are unwilling to even humor me in trying just a bite, then we will obviously not make it very long. Baking is my life, everything else is just details.
3. He goes camping. Now this isn't what you think. I actually LOVE camping. I love setting up tents, building fires, drinking beer, going fishing, eating out of a skillet, getting dirty. Next to baked goods, there is no greater smell in the world than a campfire. So, the fact that he goes camping is not the issue. It is where and why he goes camping. He camps at Renaissance festivals. Oh yes. Crazy sophomore English teacher Ms. Jernegan type Renaissance festivals. And it's not like he's just a turkey leg in hand enjoyer of such festival, no, he dresses up! He will wear a suit of armor and participate in the community fights! Are you a normal human being?!?! My instinct says no.
I'm sure after reading these three points, you can understand why he is obviously a Mr. Wrong for me, but there is one more thing that just sends me over the edge. Get ready for it...
4. He wears graphic tees! Not cool, fun, I'm a kid of the 80s graphic tee, but I can totally see him being the Ed Hardy type. Ummm, no thank you. I'm more of a polo and Sperry's kind of girl, and if you want to throw in a southern swoop, well then, this would be love. A graphic tee... never going to cut it for me.
Let us move on to candidate number two, The Bodster. If you haven't caught on already, Bodie is a bar owner and definite ladies man. He loves to flirt, give out free drinks, request blow jobs, take random girls to his office, yet always seems to return to texting me with his tail between his legs. Why is this? I will never be able to explain.
Here are a few reasons that there will be nothing between me and The Bodster beyond a casual makeout and free drinks:
1. He's a bar owner. Do I need to explain myself anymore? This pretty much screams, "I'm a player, and I will hook up with a hundred girls and I don't care." He may be beautiful to look at and he may be loaded with his pretty house in the Hamptons, but I prefer to check the STD at the door.
2. He too is a health nut. Meaning fried food and sweets are out of the question, but at least he drinks, and he drinks a lot!
3. He owns a Gator bar. This is really the only thing that I need to be competely turned-off by him. I will drink your free booze, but I will never support the Gators!
Though Creepy Dave and The Bodster are the two not-so-fine gentlemen that I have frequently been spotted with, I have found my way into other awkward dating situations.
Let's take Software Engineer Rob. Oh, he was precious. As precious as a, well, software engineer. Let's begin with my fear of dating situations for the fact that a typical date consists of a dinner, and being the world's pickiest eater, going out with someone that I have not established some type of prior friendship with who will recognize my aversion to many types of foods creates great anxiety for me. Precious Rob obviously didn't know this about me. He took me to a Tapas restaurant... that only had fish on the menu. That is a major red light. I don't eat any type of fish. Poor thing, he felt terrible. He was nice enough, but of course I never called him back. Oh, and did I mention that he showed up to the date wearing jeans with cargo pockets on the sides and sneakers. Bless his heart.
Then there was Clayton. Blond southern swoop. Blue eyes. Tall. Polo shirt. Khaki shorts. Sperry's. Loves alcohol and sweets. It was love at first site. Turns out he was macking on me when he has a long distance girlfriend. Whomp whomp.
Then there was Ian that made me weary about getting on the train to go home from work for fear that he would be on the same car (it happened, and I wanted an invisibility cloak so that I could disappear).
Then there was Carlos. His name is Carlos, must I go on?
So, I'm three months in, and still nothing to show for it other than a few added pounds from all the free dinners. What is a girl to do?
xoxo,
E
Let us begin with the guy that I have serial dated since last summer, Creepy Dave. he is like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress--I know it's not my style, but it's right there, so I try it on anyway. He is successful and good looking and tall, all things that are on my "must have" list for a potential, but that is obviously not enough. On a side note, Creepy Dave isn't really creepy. He is a very nice, sweet, and thoughtful person. The only thing that put him in the creepy category was the fact that he referred to me as his girlfriend last summer after I had just exited a relationship, and it was apparent that I was not ready for that (he also knew I was fresh out of a relationship).
Things that bother me about this faux-lationship with Creepy Dave:
1. He never attended college. I know this makes me sound super snooty falootie, but it is just something that irks me a little bit. I realize that college is not for everyone, but it was a very big part of my life, and he just can't understand my obsession with some aspects of college.
2. He is on a health and fitness kick. This means that he works out twice a day, which I can respect, but he won't eat any sweets or drink any alcohol. If you haven't realized yet from the previous posts that those are integral aspects of my life then you need to not read so deeply into what I write. Well-known fact about me--if I want to show you that I care about you or feel like I need to apologize for something, I will bake for you. I will bake a lot for you. My happiness revolves around baking and if you are unwilling to even humor me in trying just a bite, then we will obviously not make it very long. Baking is my life, everything else is just details.
3. He goes camping. Now this isn't what you think. I actually LOVE camping. I love setting up tents, building fires, drinking beer, going fishing, eating out of a skillet, getting dirty. Next to baked goods, there is no greater smell in the world than a campfire. So, the fact that he goes camping is not the issue. It is where and why he goes camping. He camps at Renaissance festivals. Oh yes. Crazy sophomore English teacher Ms. Jernegan type Renaissance festivals. And it's not like he's just a turkey leg in hand enjoyer of such festival, no, he dresses up! He will wear a suit of armor and participate in the community fights! Are you a normal human being?!?! My instinct says no.
I'm sure after reading these three points, you can understand why he is obviously a Mr. Wrong for me, but there is one more thing that just sends me over the edge. Get ready for it...
4. He wears graphic tees! Not cool, fun, I'm a kid of the 80s graphic tee, but I can totally see him being the Ed Hardy type. Ummm, no thank you. I'm more of a polo and Sperry's kind of girl, and if you want to throw in a southern swoop, well then, this would be love. A graphic tee... never going to cut it for me.
Let us move on to candidate number two, The Bodster. If you haven't caught on already, Bodie is a bar owner and definite ladies man. He loves to flirt, give out free drinks, request blow jobs, take random girls to his office, yet always seems to return to texting me with his tail between his legs. Why is this? I will never be able to explain.
Here are a few reasons that there will be nothing between me and The Bodster beyond a casual makeout and free drinks:
1. He's a bar owner. Do I need to explain myself anymore? This pretty much screams, "I'm a player, and I will hook up with a hundred girls and I don't care." He may be beautiful to look at and he may be loaded with his pretty house in the Hamptons, but I prefer to check the STD at the door.
2. He too is a health nut. Meaning fried food and sweets are out of the question, but at least he drinks, and he drinks a lot!
3. He owns a Gator bar. This is really the only thing that I need to be competely turned-off by him. I will drink your free booze, but I will never support the Gators!
Though Creepy Dave and The Bodster are the two not-so-fine gentlemen that I have frequently been spotted with, I have found my way into other awkward dating situations.
Let's take Software Engineer Rob. Oh, he was precious. As precious as a, well, software engineer. Let's begin with my fear of dating situations for the fact that a typical date consists of a dinner, and being the world's pickiest eater, going out with someone that I have not established some type of prior friendship with who will recognize my aversion to many types of foods creates great anxiety for me. Precious Rob obviously didn't know this about me. He took me to a Tapas restaurant... that only had fish on the menu. That is a major red light. I don't eat any type of fish. Poor thing, he felt terrible. He was nice enough, but of course I never called him back. Oh, and did I mention that he showed up to the date wearing jeans with cargo pockets on the sides and sneakers. Bless his heart.
Then there was Clayton. Blond southern swoop. Blue eyes. Tall. Polo shirt. Khaki shorts. Sperry's. Loves alcohol and sweets. It was love at first site. Turns out he was macking on me when he has a long distance girlfriend. Whomp whomp.
Then there was Ian that made me weary about getting on the train to go home from work for fear that he would be on the same car (it happened, and I wanted an invisibility cloak so that I could disappear).
Then there was Carlos. His name is Carlos, must I go on?
So, I'm three months in, and still nothing to show for it other than a few added pounds from all the free dinners. What is a girl to do?
xoxo,
E
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Why can't Urban Dictionary give me this kind of stuff?
What does it mean to miss someone?
A very profound friend of mine gave me a new definition that I've decided to adopt.
To miss someone means to love them so much and long to be around them despite the fact that you can't be with them right at that moment. And though you may miss them, they are always with you because you carry them in the love that is in your heart.
This was her explanation to her four year old nephew, but I don't think I could have had that word explained to me any better right now. I use the word miss frivolously. I miss my dog. I miss my brass bed. I miss my car and the little bows tied to the seats. I miss someone doing my laundry for me. I miss my clothes that I can't fit into my itty bitty NYC closet. But the epiphany that my friend has caused in me has pushed me to really think about what I miss. I miss my family, and the ridiculousness that is my little sister. I miss my friends from Miami and how they provided me my first home away from my family. I miss my best friend and the pillow talk (occasionally "deep" drunk conversations or shared stories over french toast) that would keep me pushing on week by week.
Oh the feeling of loving something and someone so much that they are worthy of being missed.
xoxo,
E
A very profound friend of mine gave me a new definition that I've decided to adopt.
To miss someone means to love them so much and long to be around them despite the fact that you can't be with them right at that moment. And though you may miss them, they are always with you because you carry them in the love that is in your heart.
This was her explanation to her four year old nephew, but I don't think I could have had that word explained to me any better right now. I use the word miss frivolously. I miss my dog. I miss my brass bed. I miss my car and the little bows tied to the seats. I miss someone doing my laundry for me. I miss my clothes that I can't fit into my itty bitty NYC closet. But the epiphany that my friend has caused in me has pushed me to really think about what I miss. I miss my family, and the ridiculousness that is my little sister. I miss my friends from Miami and how they provided me my first home away from my family. I miss my best friend and the pillow talk (occasionally "deep" drunk conversations or shared stories over french toast) that would keep me pushing on week by week.
Oh the feeling of loving something and someone so much that they are worthy of being missed.
xoxo,
E
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Love is All Around
Here's a little teaser for your taste buds...
Highlights from this evening include the following:
xoxo,
E
Highlights from this evening include the following:
- Going to TTT and running into the bartender from last Friday (see prior post) and learning that he apparently thought that my roommate had locked me out of my apartment and was concerned that I was incapable of making it home. The bouncer apparently stated that he was worried how I would make it to my apartment, which I did with great poise. (Was I really that bad?)
- Being told that I looked like Katherine Heigl. Flattering... yes. True... not at all. Used as means to try to get in my pants... absolutely.
- Having that same boy, who happens to be in the Coast Guard, try to force himself on me and eat my face, and precede to tell me that he would like to come back to my apartment, but not to have sex, but so that we can just be close to each other and that he could take me to breakfast tomorrow morning. Right.
- Have The Bodster watch CG boy all over me and see him get jealous. (Life is complete!)
- Going to Ben's Pizza and having a homeless man come in with roses and a boombox playing Love is All Around, and a random boy buying one for both me and Kel Bel.
- Catching a cab with the craziest cab driver ever that tried to get us killed because he decided to yell, "fuck you, you fucking terrorist" at another cab driver and then dropping us off at the wrong location.
- Having Kel Bel pay for the cab, but type in her pin number as the tip amount for the ride (meaning the ride would have cost close to $100). Luckily I caught her before she could do such a thing.
xoxo,
E
Saturday, August 8, 2009
No Beer Left Behind
These past 24 hours have been epic. With $5 spent, drinking on the subway, a hearty makeout session with another hottie bar owner (not the same guy that solicited sex, but same bar), a phone left in a cab and then returned to me the following day by Mr. Cab Man, I’d say this was a night to remember. Now that you have a little insight on where this is going, we should Tarantino the night.
Yesterday was a fairly slow day in which I had no intention of going out. I went to Costco and stocked up my apartment with enough toilet paper and pasta to last me a lifetime. I received a text from a friend requesting my presence at game night and drinkies. Obviously I accepted said invitation because I love games and drinkies is a total bonus. I stopped at Target and Pathmark on my way to her apartment to pick up baking supplies and beer (blue light special on an 18-pack of Bud Lite at Pathmark… only $10.99). Needless to say, V and I finished 14 of those 18 beers before actually going out, some of which were consumed while riding the Q train from Brooklyn back to Manhattan. That is probably where the night started taking a turn for the worst, or best depending on the way you want to look at it.
As a former Peer Educator in alcohol and other drug education, I can definitely say that I broke every rule in the book for avoiding being a “high-risk drinker.” Not only did I clearly binge drink, but I also didn’t eat dinner beforehand, I took Tylenol, I wandered the streets of NY and got in a cab alone to go home. Thank you alcohol for preventing me from making good decisions.
Back to the story. So, we met up with some of V’s friends from home, where my $5 was spent to buy a drink. We moved on to the infamous TTT where dreams really do come true. Within minutes of us sitting down the bartender provides us complimentary beers and shots, thank you very much. Four beers and a shot of Jager later I find myself leaning over the bar conversing with super hottie bar owner #2 (way cuter than The Bodster might I add) and then it happened. He gazed deep into my eyes, smiled, and asked if he could kiss me. He actually asked! How crazy?!? So obviously I obliged. By this point I lost V, had another beer handed to me, and went and puked my guts out in the bathroom. Oh, so classy.
I decided that I should wait at the bar in case V was still around anywhere, which she wasn’t, but in the meantime I kept nodding off at the bar where the bartender asked if I needed to crash on his couch. I took that as my cue to leave. Walked a couple blocks, and then jumped in a cab. I then proceeded to puke on myself in the cab. I got home and climbed in bed and went to plug in my phone and couldn’t find it. I dumped out my entire purse to realize that I did not have it. Thank God that V did indeed make it home so I began calling my phone from her phone. Nice Mr. Cab Man called V’s phone from my phone at 6 a.m. and offered to bring it to me today when he started his shift at 6 p.m. Turns out there really are nice people in NYC. I now have my phone and a memory from one crazy night.
In other news, I baked some delicious treats today. It was clearly needed after the stress of last night. I went to this incredible store today in order to get the things I needed for this baking adventure. I swear, if this store is what Heaven is like, I can’t wait to die. It’s called NY Cake and Bake Supply, and they have all things baking from pans to marzipan and fondant to bakers chocolate. Oh, sweet baby Jesus! I’m sure you can now understand my excitement. I could have stayed there for hours, but I kept getting weird looks from one of the ladies that worked there because I kept wandering aimlessly around looking at everything, but not putting anything in my basket. This is a place that I will definitely be returning. You can buy 675 extra large cupcake papers for $19.99. Ah-mazing!
Enough of my rants. Seeing that it is now 9:30 p.m. and I’m just now feeling like a functioning person, I’d say that last night was successful. Oh, and on a final note, I am quite disappointed in myself. I broke the cardinal rule of drinking. No pub crawler should ever leave a beer behind. The No Beer Left Behind, NBLB, rule is a fundamental promise that all shall take when choosing to drink, yet I left a full bottle on the counter as I walked out of TTT last night. Yes it was free, but that is no excuse. I am ashamed, and am willing to accept any punishment you deem necessary to restore my drinking rights. That’s all I have, now I must hang my head in shame.
Oh, and by the way... all of the crap from my purse is still spread out all over my bed.
Thanks for the memories.
xoxo,
E
Yesterday was a fairly slow day in which I had no intention of going out. I went to Costco and stocked up my apartment with enough toilet paper and pasta to last me a lifetime. I received a text from a friend requesting my presence at game night and drinkies. Obviously I accepted said invitation because I love games and drinkies is a total bonus. I stopped at Target and Pathmark on my way to her apartment to pick up baking supplies and beer (blue light special on an 18-pack of Bud Lite at Pathmark… only $10.99). Needless to say, V and I finished 14 of those 18 beers before actually going out, some of which were consumed while riding the Q train from Brooklyn back to Manhattan. That is probably where the night started taking a turn for the worst, or best depending on the way you want to look at it.
As a former Peer Educator in alcohol and other drug education, I can definitely say that I broke every rule in the book for avoiding being a “high-risk drinker.” Not only did I clearly binge drink, but I also didn’t eat dinner beforehand, I took Tylenol, I wandered the streets of NY and got in a cab alone to go home. Thank you alcohol for preventing me from making good decisions.
Back to the story. So, we met up with some of V’s friends from home, where my $5 was spent to buy a drink. We moved on to the infamous TTT where dreams really do come true. Within minutes of us sitting down the bartender provides us complimentary beers and shots, thank you very much. Four beers and a shot of Jager later I find myself leaning over the bar conversing with super hottie bar owner #2 (way cuter than The Bodster might I add) and then it happened. He gazed deep into my eyes, smiled, and asked if he could kiss me. He actually asked! How crazy?!? So obviously I obliged. By this point I lost V, had another beer handed to me, and went and puked my guts out in the bathroom. Oh, so classy.
I decided that I should wait at the bar in case V was still around anywhere, which she wasn’t, but in the meantime I kept nodding off at the bar where the bartender asked if I needed to crash on his couch. I took that as my cue to leave. Walked a couple blocks, and then jumped in a cab. I then proceeded to puke on myself in the cab. I got home and climbed in bed and went to plug in my phone and couldn’t find it. I dumped out my entire purse to realize that I did not have it. Thank God that V did indeed make it home so I began calling my phone from her phone. Nice Mr. Cab Man called V’s phone from my phone at 6 a.m. and offered to bring it to me today when he started his shift at 6 p.m. Turns out there really are nice people in NYC. I now have my phone and a memory from one crazy night.
In other news, I baked some delicious treats today. It was clearly needed after the stress of last night. I went to this incredible store today in order to get the things I needed for this baking adventure. I swear, if this store is what Heaven is like, I can’t wait to die. It’s called NY Cake and Bake Supply, and they have all things baking from pans to marzipan and fondant to bakers chocolate. Oh, sweet baby Jesus! I’m sure you can now understand my excitement. I could have stayed there for hours, but I kept getting weird looks from one of the ladies that worked there because I kept wandering aimlessly around looking at everything, but not putting anything in my basket. This is a place that I will definitely be returning. You can buy 675 extra large cupcake papers for $19.99. Ah-mazing!
Enough of my rants. Seeing that it is now 9:30 p.m. and I’m just now feeling like a functioning person, I’d say that last night was successful. Oh, and on a final note, I am quite disappointed in myself. I broke the cardinal rule of drinking. No pub crawler should ever leave a beer behind. The No Beer Left Behind, NBLB, rule is a fundamental promise that all shall take when choosing to drink, yet I left a full bottle on the counter as I walked out of TTT last night. Yes it was free, but that is no excuse. I am ashamed, and am willing to accept any punishment you deem necessary to restore my drinking rights. That’s all I have, now I must hang my head in shame.
Oh, and by the way... all of the crap from my purse is still spread out all over my bed.
Thanks for the memories.
xoxo,
E
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So many free drinks, but still not worth it.
How many times can you say that you’ve been propositioned for a sexual encounter? Well, I can add another one to my list. I don’t know if this is typical for girls in the city or if I just have the most random things said to me.
Best random comments of the summer:
With stories like these, it is hard convincing me that there are decent guys up here. Wouldn’t it be nice if it really did just rain men? Tall, blond, dark and lean, rough and tough and strong and mean! The Weather Girls know where my head is. Too bad kind, generous, humble, and chivalrous weren’t included in their description.
xoxo,
E
Best random comments of the summer:
- I will give you $100 for your shorts. (Said by a man in a business suit about my cutoff jean shorts)
- When I win the lottery, I’ll call you… then we can make another Obama. (Thank you homeless man on the subway)
- USE LESBIAN PROTECTION! (Homeless man yelled this at me, I don’t even know!)
- I'm a dancer, not a contortionist. (Girl we overheard on her cellphone)
With stories like these, it is hard convincing me that there are decent guys up here. Wouldn’t it be nice if it really did just rain men? Tall, blond, dark and lean, rough and tough and strong and mean! The Weather Girls know where my head is. Too bad kind, generous, humble, and chivalrous weren’t included in their description.
xoxo,
E
Cake Balls = Oh, so delicious!
Red Velvet Cake Balls
This is obviously a new obsession! Cake in any form is clearly acceptable. I have a new found love for red velvet cake so this would be my first choice, but I'm sure this would work with any combination of cake flavors and chocolate (dark, milk, white, whatever your heart desires).
Red Velvet Cake Balls
1 box red velvet cake mix (cook as directed on box for 13 X 9 cake)
1 can cream cheese frosting (16 oz.)
1 package chocolate bark (regular or white chocolate)
wax paper
1. After cake is cooked and cooled completely, crumble into large bowl.
2. Mix thoroughly with 1 can cream cheese frosting. (It may be easier to use fingers to mix together, but be warned it will get messy.)
3. Roll mixture into quarter size balls and lay on cookie sheet. (Should make 45-50. You can get even more if you use a mini ice cream scooper, but I like to hand roll them.)
4. Chill for several hours. (You can speed this up by putting in the freezer.)
5. Melt chocolate in microwave per directions on package.
6. Roll balls in chocolate and lay on wax paper until firm. (Use a spoon to dip and roll in chocolate and then tap off extra.)
I also only melt a few pieces of chocolate bark at a time because it starts to cool and thicken. It's easier to work with when it's hot.
This is obviously a new obsession! Cake in any form is clearly acceptable. I have a new found love for red velvet cake so this would be my first choice, but I'm sure this would work with any combination of cake flavors and chocolate (dark, milk, white, whatever your heart desires).
Red Velvet Cake Balls
1 box red velvet cake mix (cook as directed on box for 13 X 9 cake)
1 can cream cheese frosting (16 oz.)
1 package chocolate bark (regular or white chocolate)
wax paper
1. After cake is cooked and cooled completely, crumble into large bowl.
2. Mix thoroughly with 1 can cream cheese frosting. (It may be easier to use fingers to mix together, but be warned it will get messy.)
3. Roll mixture into quarter size balls and lay on cookie sheet. (Should make 45-50. You can get even more if you use a mini ice cream scooper, but I like to hand roll them.)
4. Chill for several hours. (You can speed this up by putting in the freezer.)
5. Melt chocolate in microwave per directions on package.
6. Roll balls in chocolate and lay on wax paper until firm. (Use a spoon to dip and roll in chocolate and then tap off extra.)
I also only melt a few pieces of chocolate bark at a time because it starts to cool and thicken. It's easier to work with when it's hot.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Women Aren't Meant to be Tamed
"I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."
-Sex and the City
I just moved to New York from Florida and it is my first time to really be on my own. Turns out the real world is not so scary (well, as of yet... I still have a little bit of money in the bank and food in the fridge). I am working as an assistant to a fabulous wedding planner at Curtain Up Events. I have learned so much from my incredible boss, and even better, I've been able to explore my creative prowess that has been all to often tamed. I love everything domestic and craft oriented, but don't get me confused with Martha Stewart; I hope not to sport a super cool orange jumpsuit anytime soon, and I like to consider myself a lot friendlier than her.
Anyway, enough of that nonsense and on to why I am here. I moved to New York in hopes to escape the small town that I grew up in where at this age I'm expected to be running off into wedded bliss like so many of my friends currently are. However, I do not foresee wedded anything in my near future unless I'm planning it for someone else. Therefore, I moved to the city of perpetual singledom; where the guys are either D-bags (delicious banging ass guys as my sister kindly renamed them this evening) or are to consumed and focused on their job that they hate and are only continuing for the fact that they are making bank and are afraid that if they quit they won't be able to find a job like the rest of us poor souls. This leaves me in luck... single, free, and no pressures of putting a ring on it (though you buying me a drink is not frowned upon).
As for the blog, I must give all the credit to my amazing roommate (find her at Drunktaneous in the City). Though she doesn't yet realize it, she has motivated me to start a blog of my own. She is definitely one of the funniest people I have ever met, and a delight to live with. She enjoys blogging post a night of drunken debauchery (unfortunately I tend to drunk text which never ends well). No worries, I will not be blogging post-drinking because you would be frightened about what comes to my mind at those times, though I will not deny the possible posts that may occur. I'm here for anything and everything and mainly to document my crazy adventures, my laughable rendezvous, the funny things that are overhear or have shouted at me on the streets, and most importantly... to supply a few extra tips on how to walk in high heels, especially in this city.
xoxo,
E
-Sex and the City
I just moved to New York from Florida and it is my first time to really be on my own. Turns out the real world is not so scary (well, as of yet... I still have a little bit of money in the bank and food in the fridge). I am working as an assistant to a fabulous wedding planner at Curtain Up Events. I have learned so much from my incredible boss, and even better, I've been able to explore my creative prowess that has been all to often tamed. I love everything domestic and craft oriented, but don't get me confused with Martha Stewart; I hope not to sport a super cool orange jumpsuit anytime soon, and I like to consider myself a lot friendlier than her.
Anyway, enough of that nonsense and on to why I am here. I moved to New York in hopes to escape the small town that I grew up in where at this age I'm expected to be running off into wedded bliss like so many of my friends currently are. However, I do not foresee wedded anything in my near future unless I'm planning it for someone else. Therefore, I moved to the city of perpetual singledom; where the guys are either D-bags (delicious banging ass guys as my sister kindly renamed them this evening) or are to consumed and focused on their job that they hate and are only continuing for the fact that they are making bank and are afraid that if they quit they won't be able to find a job like the rest of us poor souls. This leaves me in luck... single, free, and no pressures of putting a ring on it (though you buying me a drink is not frowned upon).
As for the blog, I must give all the credit to my amazing roommate (find her at Drunktaneous in the City). Though she doesn't yet realize it, she has motivated me to start a blog of my own. She is definitely one of the funniest people I have ever met, and a delight to live with. She enjoys blogging post a night of drunken debauchery (unfortunately I tend to drunk text which never ends well). No worries, I will not be blogging post-drinking because you would be frightened about what comes to my mind at those times, though I will not deny the possible posts that may occur. I'm here for anything and everything and mainly to document my crazy adventures, my laughable rendezvous, the funny things that are overhear or have shouted at me on the streets, and most importantly... to supply a few extra tips on how to walk in high heels, especially in this city.
xoxo,
E
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