No Beer Left Behind

These past 24 hours have been epic. With $5 spent, drinking on the subway, a hearty makeout session with another hottie bar owner (not the same guy that solicited sex, but same bar), a phone left in a cab and then returned to me the following day by Mr. Cab Man, I’d say this was a night to remember. Now that you have a little insight on where this is going, we should Tarantino the night.

Yesterday was a fairly slow day in which I had no intention of going out. I went to Costco and stocked up my apartment with enough toilet paper and pasta to last me a lifetime. I received a text from a friend requesting my presence at game night and drinkies. Obviously I accepted said invitation because I love games and drinkies is a total bonus. I stopped at Target and Pathmark on my way to her apartment to pick up baking supplies and beer (blue light special on an 18-pack of Bud Lite at Pathmark… only $10.99). Needless to say, V and I finished 14 of those 18 beers before actually going out, some of which were consumed while riding the Q train from Brooklyn back to Manhattan. That is probably where the night started taking a turn for the worst, or best depending on the way you want to look at it.

As a former Peer Educator in alcohol and other drug education, I can definitely say that I broke every rule in the book for avoiding being a “high-risk drinker.” Not only did I clearly binge drink, but I also didn’t eat dinner beforehand, I took Tylenol, I wandered the streets of NY and got in a cab alone to go home. Thank you alcohol for preventing me from making good decisions.

Back to the story. So, we met up with some of V’s friends from home, where my $5 was spent to buy a drink. We moved on to the infamous TTT where dreams really do come true. Within minutes of us sitting down the bartender provides us complimentary beers and shots, thank you very much. Four beers and a shot of Jager later I find myself leaning over the bar conversing with super hottie bar owner #2 (way cuter than The Bodster might I add) and then it happened. He gazed deep into my eyes, smiled, and asked if he could kiss me. He actually asked! How crazy?!? So obviously I obliged. By this point I lost V, had another beer handed to me, and went and puked my guts out in the bathroom. Oh, so classy.

I decided that I should wait at the bar in case V was still around anywhere, which she wasn’t, but in the meantime I kept nodding off at the bar where the bartender asked if I needed to crash on his couch. I took that as my cue to leave. Walked a couple blocks, and then jumped in a cab. I then proceeded to puke on myself in the cab. I got home and climbed in bed and went to plug in my phone and couldn’t find it. I dumped out my entire purse to realize that I did not have it. Thank God that V did indeed make it home so I began calling my phone from her phone. Nice Mr. Cab Man called V’s phone from my phone at 6 a.m. and offered to bring it to me today when he started his shift at 6 p.m. Turns out there really are nice people in NYC. I now have my phone and a memory from one crazy night.

In other news, I baked some delicious treats today. It was clearly needed after the stress of last night. I went to this incredible store today in order to get the things I needed for this baking adventure. I swear, if this store is what Heaven is like, I can’t wait to die. It’s called NY Cake and Bake Supply, and they have all things baking from pans to marzipan and fondant to bakers chocolate. Oh, sweet baby Jesus! I’m sure you can now understand my excitement. I could have stayed there for hours, but I kept getting weird looks from one of the ladies that worked there because I kept wandering aimlessly around looking at everything, but not putting anything in my basket. This is a place that I will definitely be returning. You can buy 675 extra large cupcake papers for $19.99. Ah-mazing!

Enough of my rants. Seeing that it is now 9:30 p.m. and I’m just now feeling like a functioning person, I’d say that last night was successful. Oh, and on a final note, I am quite disappointed in myself. I broke the cardinal rule of drinking. No pub crawler should ever leave a beer behind. The No Beer Left Behind, NBLB, rule is a fundamental promise that all shall take when choosing to drink, yet I left a full bottle on the counter as I walked out of TTT last night. Yes it was free, but that is no excuse. I am ashamed, and am willing to accept any punishment you deem necessary to restore my drinking rights. That’s all I have, now I must hang my head in shame.

Oh, and by the way... all of the crap from my purse is still spread out all over my bed.

Thanks for the memories.

xoxo,

E